Ar$e!
Once again I find myself saying "I was going to tell you ..."
This time I was going to say how I'm now not only the only gwylow at football but now also the only gwylow at karaoke, China's entertainment of choice on any given Saturday. I can now do a fine job of killing Mr Michael Jackson's Billy Jean, not a pleasant experience for anyone involved but all good clean fun!
I was also going to mention that I've moved into a great new flat, I have a kitchen, bathroom, lounge, everything the old place didn't. I've also a spare room with big bed so I am now open for visitors and, coolest of all I've two wheel chairs!
Yes, you read that correctly, I was inspired by the imminent arrival of Jane (my sister if you didn't know) who's damaged her knee at Christmas so I thought I'd be a nice brother and get her a wheel chair. From tiny acorns do mighty oaks sprout, it occurred to me she'd not appreciate a wheel chair but that I really would!
So, on Saturday I went out and got a a sofa, a fridge, a TV, mops, brooms and beds, internet and cable TV and two rather funky wheel chairs. Even if I do say so my self I'm already a past master on doing wheelies and spins. I have possible the coolest flat ever.
I was going to type about how Chinese gas men say they are coming round between 10am and 12 noon and actually turn up at 10am having called to confirm 10 minutes earlier. About sunday morning dim sum (very tasty) and of my caretaker/ door man being so impressed with my "um goy" (excuse me and thank you if you don't remember my earlier Cantonese lessons) that he asked if I spoke Chinese.
However, due to having my bag stolen last night while playing footie near the Chinese boarder makes all that's a bit like old news now...
Highlights of losses are:
After about an hour rather than sleeping on the door step I found a chinese step ladder behind my building, stood on tip toes on the top rung to get fingertips over the edge of the balcony and pulled myself up. I was then stuck on the balcony, in sports gear, at 3am and it was freezing and Damien (flat mate) still couldn't hear me.
Thankfully (I think) Chinese flats aren't that secure and I force a window, knocked the bars out and climbed in, I considered beating Damien to death but instead checked the footie results (liverpool lost, did I mention ar$e!) and did a few wheelies on my wheel chair and went to bed. Not sure but my lucky streak may of hit a sticky patch!
Laters
Jonathan
Ps. please send me your phone numbers if you ever want to hear from me again and do feel free to use my insecure flat as a hotel in HK any time.
JP.
This time I was going to say how I'm now not only the only gwylow at football but now also the only gwylow at karaoke, China's entertainment of choice on any given Saturday. I can now do a fine job of killing Mr Michael Jackson's Billy Jean, not a pleasant experience for anyone involved but all good clean fun!
I was also going to mention that I've moved into a great new flat, I have a kitchen, bathroom, lounge, everything the old place didn't. I've also a spare room with big bed so I am now open for visitors and, coolest of all I've two wheel chairs!
Yes, you read that correctly, I was inspired by the imminent arrival of Jane (my sister if you didn't know) who's damaged her knee at Christmas so I thought I'd be a nice brother and get her a wheel chair. From tiny acorns do mighty oaks sprout, it occurred to me she'd not appreciate a wheel chair but that I really would!
So, on Saturday I went out and got a a sofa, a fridge, a TV, mops, brooms and beds, internet and cable TV and two rather funky wheel chairs. Even if I do say so my self I'm already a past master on doing wheelies and spins. I have possible the coolest flat ever.
I was going to type about how Chinese gas men say they are coming round between 10am and 12 noon and actually turn up at 10am having called to confirm 10 minutes earlier. About sunday morning dim sum (very tasty) and of my caretaker/ door man being so impressed with my "um goy" (excuse me and thank you if you don't remember my earlier Cantonese lessons) that he asked if I spoke Chinese.
However, due to having my bag stolen last night while playing footie near the Chinese boarder makes all that's a bit like old news now...
Highlights of losses are:
> my phone,
> house keys,
> my wallet (Christmas presnet!) including bank cards (UK and HK), Credit cards (again UK and HK), HK ID, UK driving license, octopus card ($200), HK$2000, medical insurance card, Gym membership card, a piece of paper with my new address on it, work ID card ($500 to replace) and most annoying of all... ticket for squash match I'd planned for tonight!
> trainers,
> jeans (first pair I'd owned in about 10 years, never again, clearly not lucky for me),
> Guinness hoody,
> spare flat keys (not sure why they were in my bag but there you go),
After about an hour rather than sleeping on the door step I found a chinese step ladder behind my building, stood on tip toes on the top rung to get fingertips over the edge of the balcony and pulled myself up. I was then stuck on the balcony, in sports gear, at 3am and it was freezing and Damien (flat mate) still couldn't hear me.
Thankfully (I think) Chinese flats aren't that secure and I force a window, knocked the bars out and climbed in, I considered beating Damien to death but instead checked the footie results (liverpool lost, did I mention ar$e!) and did a few wheelies on my wheel chair and went to bed. Not sure but my lucky streak may of hit a sticky patch!
Laters
Jonathan
Ps. please send me your phone numbers if you ever want to hear from me again and do feel free to use my insecure flat as a hotel in HK any time.
JP.
posted by JP at 7:00 pm
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